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Sunday, 5 January 2014
Features : Can Exes Stay Friends?
One question that has fascinated me recently is: Can people who used to date stay friends after they break up? I posed this question to a male friend and his answer was a resounding yes. His reason to continue friendships with exes was “To keep enjoying the benefits.” But I was interested in a woman’s perspective, so text the same question to girlfriend. Her answer surprised me. “Hmm, exes are very useful oh abeg! I always call mine when I need a bulb changed or an emergency driver. He’ll come over as he still feels guilty for breaking my heart,” she replied. By this point, I was gobsmacked. I guess I must be quite naive because in my opinion, if a relationship was based on true feelings from the beginning then there should be just enough of those feelings lingering in the guy’s heart to want to stay in touch with his ex. Why does their “friendship” have to be based on the availability of sex or any other benefits? I mean if that is the only reason, what is stopping either party from starting a new relationship? And although I don’t think it is right to go into a new relationship just to eliminate your DIY needs, it is surely better than playing on someone else’s vulnerability. However, to remain close, speaking to each other regularly, especially when they have started seeing someone else is taking things too far. What do you think? Can exes really ever be friends?